Make the most of what you've got while you can.

This has been my motto since I nearly lost Ken four years ago. My previous post here yesterday about our financial situtation was written in a light-hearted manner, but underlying that position is the fact that I don't know how much longer I will have him alive and well, and I am determined that his last years - whether it be two or twenty - should be as happy as I can make it for him.

Last week he went for the first of several medical tests on his heart that he has to have annually for his job. It was an echo-cardiogram - a scan of the heart, in other words. The technician didn't volunteer much information, but she can't anyway - that is up to the specialist to decide. Today, he had the treadmill stress test - where they stick things all over his chest and monitor his heart while he is walking/running on the moving treadmill. A year ago, he made it to nine minutes and was a bit puffed. The guy who was monitoring Ken at that time said the cardiologist should be pleased with that, and a few weeks later, yes - he was.

Today was a different story. They start you off slow and level on the treadmills, then gradually increase both the height and speed, until it is equivalent to running up a steep hill. They keep you going until you can't take any more - all the while monitoring your heart. Ken stayed on it for 5 minutes and was absolutely exhausted. The doctor kept saying "come on, just a few more seconds...just another minute..." but he saw that it was no good, so he took Ken off it. Then he sat down and told us that the results showed significant change (read deterioration) in Ken's heart functions, and they would have to run more tests as it looked like there was a blockage in an artery somewhere. Ken has already had angioplasty and a stent put in one artery, three years ago, so he might have to go through that again now.

We came home without saying much, and after tea he went for a 'lie-down', as he called it. Under normal circumstances he would have been sitting in this room beside me, playing with his new toys, so it is an indication to me of how low he is feeling. So, I hope you will be patient with me if I am not my usual silly self over the next week or so. I will find some nice things to scan in the meantime and just put photos on here for the time being.