Patra's Other Place

I started out with Patra's Place, primarily dedicated to my linen collection and stitching projects. But I kept getting side-tracked, so I decided to create Patra's Other Place for anything not related to embroidery topics. So you now have a choice. If you are interested in me, read this. If you only want to see my linen and stitching, visit Patra's (original) Place! (Please note that by clicking on any of the photos, they will be enlarged to fill your computer screen.)

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Location: Melbourne, Vic., Australia

I am married to Ken. We have no children except a cat and a collection of Australian parrots, finches, canaries and a dozen hens.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Walk a mile in my shoes.

I took my friend Helen over to our new shopping centre last week. She doesn't get out as much as she used to before her stroke, as although her hubby is very good about driving her wherever she wants to go, it isn't the same as trawling through a shopping centre for an afternoon with a girlfriend. We stopped for coffee after half an hour, so she could get her breath back, and while we were there, she confided in me that she feels abandoned. They were her own words. She said the only friends who visit her regularly are me and her next door neighbour. I was shocked, as Helen used to have such an active social life, buzzing around everywhere with her friends. I've asked some of our mutual friends if they would call her and visit her from time to time, and they all said of course they will. So I hope they do. How hurtful to have your one time friends drop away when you are helpless to go out with them under your own steam...

She kept thanking me for taking her out, and I said "Before your stroke, we often went out together, for lunch, shopping etc. - you didn't need to thank me then. So you don't now - as far as I'm concerned you are still a good friend who I like to spend time with as I always did." I know they don't mean to be cruel, but I wish people would put themselves into another's shoes occasionally, and try to see things from another perspective.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Gina.. Thats an unfortunate situation that happens to many people. I lost a friend just because of losing my father... if I can recall... they said that they were sick of hearing about my dead dad. It was awful.
My Mum lost friends when she because a Coeliac.. because she couldn't eat at all the normal places her friends could.. and they were sick of her being 'picky' about her food.
What I am trying to say is that... they must not have been real friends... and we should be glad they are out of our lives.
Give your friend best wishes from me.
xox Nicole
ps. If she can still handwrite.. I will gladly be a penpal.

Tuesday, 04 November, 2008  
Blogger Alice said...

You are right to give us a kick in the pants, Gina, and I include myself in that. I don't know if Helen uses her computer at all these days. I know it was awfully difficult for her. But I wonder if she checks email. Do you know?

Friday, 07 November, 2008  
Blogger Isabelle said...

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that. Give her best wishes from me - can't take her out, but I do think about her.

Friday, 07 November, 2008  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Thank you Nicole, Alice and Isabelle - I shall print your responses off and give them to Helen when I next see her. She finds it tiring to write by hand, and doesn't do much at all on the computer these days, so all I can do is pass on your good wishes. I'm sure she will give me a message to put on my blog for you all.

Saturday, 08 November, 2008  
Blogger Jeanette said...

Hi Gina, I think this is very sad when freinds drop away like your got the plague.This has happened to my Elderly friends (Neighbours)she has quite a few medical probs and he had a mild stroke acouple of years ago and only aloud to drive locally.most of The friends dropped away . I go see them everyday make sure there ok take them to Medical appoint in Albury and friday I took them to Albury just to look around the shops its very slow shopping as she has a walking frame and rests a lot.. but they just loved getting out for the day and we had a lovely day together..Please pass on my love and good wishes to Helen..

Sunday, 09 November, 2008  

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