Walk a mile in my shoes.

I took my friend Helen over to our new shopping centre last week. She doesn't get out as much as she used to before her stroke, as although her hubby is very good about driving her wherever she wants to go, it isn't the same as trawling through a shopping centre for an afternoon with a girlfriend. We stopped for coffee after half an hour, so she could get her breath back, and while we were there, she confided in me that she feels abandoned. They were her own words. She said the only friends who visit her regularly are me and her next door neighbour. I was shocked, as Helen used to have such an active social life, buzzing around everywhere with her friends. I've asked some of our mutual friends if they would call her and visit her from time to time, and they all said of course they will. So I hope they do. How hurtful to have your one time friends drop away when you are helpless to go out with them under your own steam...

She kept thanking me for taking her out, and I said "Before your stroke, we often went out together, for lunch, shopping etc. - you didn't need to thank me then. So you don't now - as far as I'm concerned you are still a good friend who I like to spend time with as I always did." I know they don't mean to be cruel, but I wish people would put themselves into another's shoes occasionally, and try to see things from another perspective.