Patra's Other Place

I started out with Patra's Place, primarily dedicated to my linen collection and stitching projects. But I kept getting side-tracked, so I decided to create Patra's Other Place for anything not related to embroidery topics. So you now have a choice. If you are interested in me, read this. If you only want to see my linen and stitching, visit Patra's (original) Place! (Please note that by clicking on any of the photos, they will be enlarged to fill your computer screen.)

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Location: Melbourne, Vic., Australia

I was married to Ken for 43 years, but he died in October 2022. So I am now alone with two cats, eight hens, and a few finches and parrots in one aviary.

Thursday, September 05, 2013

Final resting place.

We went to the Kangaroo Ground Cemetery again today.  We met one of Ken's cousins there, as we'd asked him to show us where his Mum was buried (we couldn't find the grave on our first visit).  The other purpose was to select a spot for our own grave sites.   We had decided long ago that we want our bodies to be cremated, and at first said that our ashes could be scattered or buried wherever the surviving partner wanted.  But having seen this peaceful cemetery in such a beautiful country setting, we've decided we'd like somewhere nice for our souls to float once the ashes are interred.  Ken's cousin said his wish is for his ashes to be scattered somewhere by his children, and I explained that as we don't have any kids, I wouldn't put that kind of commitment on any of our nieces or nephews, so we feel it is best to decide where and pay for the plot in advance, so whoever is responsible for burying the second to die of us two, won't have to worry about what to do with our remains.    At some stage in the future, we will probably do one of those prepaid funeral things too, but we'll have to look into that a bit more.

While we were strolling around the graves reading the inscriptions and wondering about those people who have passed on, Ken remarked on the spot where his aunt's remains are interred, saying  "I like this area on the side of the hill, it has a lovely view".   We all laughed at this - as if our ghosts will be concerned with the view, lol!  Then he said more seriously "Well, seeing it won't be too long before I'll be living here, it is nice to know where I'll be".   I gave him a light smack, and said "I need you here for a few more years, so don't get any ideas about those views just yet!". 

Sadly, he could be right though.  He had his regular check up with the lung specialist yesterday, and asked again if he could have the lung reduction operation to improve his breathing.  Dr. G. finally told him the truth  (why do doctors feel they have to hide it from you?  I guess it must be very difficult for them to make that decision).  He told Ken that the operation would not achieve anything.  Lung reduction only works if part of the lung is badly diseased, but Ken's lungs are so severely damaged that there is no individual part that can be removed.  I asked about oxygen therapy and again Dr G said in Ken's case it is not a workable option.
He said that the only thing that would help Ken is a complete lung transplant, and due to the existing cardio vascular issues, a transplant is completely out of the question. 

He said he has been amazed that Ken continue to go to work until this year, and that he probably overdid it by doing so.   If he had quit work a few years ago and been able to slow down, he would probably be feeling a lot better  than he does now.  All Ken can do now is slow down his pace of living;  don't go for long walks, don't walk up hills or a lot of steps, no more gardening, washing the car, etc.  At least he can still ride his motorcycles and drive the car, so he can continue to be out and about when he's feeling okay, like he was today.

But today had another down side.  After we left the cemetery we decided to drive on further and have some lunch in a country town, so we drove up to Yea.  We'd just gone through Glenburn when we noticed a police car chasing after us with all lights flashing.  Ken pulled over, and they pulled up behind us.  Ken got out of the car to ask them what was wrong, thinking something was wrong with his car - perhaps the back numberplate had fallen off, or his lights weren't working.  The cops looked surprised and said "Didn't you see us on the side of the road?" and Ken said "Yes, but what about it?  I wasn't doing anything wrong". and they said "You were driving 95 kl an hour, the speed limit back there is 80 kl."  We nearly had a fit!   They got back in their car with Ken's licence, and spent about 10 minutes doing whatever they do - checking the car's registration, Ken's licence details, etc. and finally reappeared saying that they had to book him, but in view of his good driving record, they would state on the fine that he was only doing 89, so that reduced the amount of the fine to....wait for it... $180!  God only know what it would have been if they'd been less lenient!  And only one demerit point, not three. 

We drove on to Yea and spent a nice afternoon (and a lot more money) on lunch and some new clothes for Ken which he found in a menswear shop.  We'd spent all yesterday afternoon over at Greensborough looking for shirts for him, but he couldn't find anything he liked.  Today we had to drive a hundred kilometres to find something he liked!  Some men are harder to please than women when it comes to clothes!


1 Comments:

Blogger FredaB said...

Dear Patra

It was so sad for me to read this about Ken's health. Now he can relax and doesn't have the money worries of before that may prolong his life. Especially with the good, loving care you provide him.

Give him a hug from me.

FredaB

Thursday, 12 September, 2013  

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